murky Coffee

Apparently, it doesn't take much to make news these days. Below, find reproduced the text of a letter I wrote to these murky Coffee dudes in response to the links also reproduced below:

http://murkycoffee.com/
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/07/16/AR2008071602018.html


To Whom It May Concern:

Right now, the phrase "bourbon varietal from a particular coffee" is rolling around in my mind like Rip Van Winkle's bowling balls. You clowns are the most effete cocksure "artists" since Jeff Koons bamboozled that rich dude into buying the porcelain statue of "Michael Jackson with Bubbles."

The "tack" employed by your teenaged barista was wholly unacceptable, even in the face of a loutish, dickish customer. It's "really not cool" to pour espresso on ice? What is this, a Phil Lesh acid smokeout? Just explain that murky doesn't recommend that approach for whatever reasons of artistry you folks have contrived to invent.

Here's why. I like beer. I think people should take beer more seriously. But I also enjoy drinking Miller High Life. And Stroh's. And Schaefer. And Schlitz. And Coor's Banquet Beer. I'm sorry, because these pedestrian choices would make me so "uncool" in the eyes of those master artist brewers who supersaturate their beers with hops and inappropriate citrus cheesecake flavors. But sometimes you just want a beer. Or in the case of that asshole Jeff, a lot of caffeine.

If you want only to serve the art connoisseur crowd, I hear there's lots of museums in Washington (don't ask how I know, but between you and me, I lived there, and once patronized your olde shoppe). Take up residence next to the Agnes Martins near Dupont Circle and start slinging $8 joe (the real fulfillment of any coffee artist's dream!

Cheers,

JCB